Vaidehi Trilokia

Possibly being ignored in your friend group?

Having a smaller friend group isn't such a bad thing! Having a supportive group dynamic is much more important.

May 16, 2020

Being a teenager is hard, and sometimes you need someone your age that you can talk to. Are you being given the attention you feel you need by your friends?
There are some people out there who are good at putting others down. If you put some thought into it, you may actually realize that the people lowering your self-confidence may be disguised as your ‘friends.’
This could be in any form, be it telling you that your personality or dressing sense is not “cool” enough, or that you are incapable of achieving your dreams. Telling you that you should follow their lead to become more socially relevant is unacceptable.
If students have been taught that each one of them are individually unique, why are teenagers often looked down upon by their peers for being different because of their personality or dreams?
Not to say that you can-not find good friends around anymore, you just have to look out for the right ones. Diluk Ramachandra, a grade 11 student at King, believes the same thing. “I haven’t been in a situation where I’ve been told that I am incapable of my dreams, but I have heard someone else being told that. I realized at that moment how tough that must be and how grateful I am for my friends,” he says.
There can also be those people out there who abandon you during your lows by perhaps ignoring it or not giving it enough attention. It could just be something that you think is worth discussing but is not thought so on the other side.
This may not necessarily mean that your friends are purposely trying to ignore you, but sometimes if this becomes a repeated pattern, it might be worth taking a closer look at.
Perhaps, you realize that your friends are not always ready to give you the advice required or the ‘real deal’ that you might be looking for. True friends will not lie to you but instead will give you the real talk you need. “I appreciate my friends because then I can receive support or advice from anyone at any time. It’s always easy to rely on some-one for anything depending on the circumstances,” Ramachandra says. On the other hand, it could be that you yourself need to speak up about what you are going through. Often we are all wrapped up in our own drama that we are not on the lookout for what others may be feeling. If you are feeling low, say something. If you do not get the support you need then look at why that person is not helping. Maybe they cannot and did not want to burden you. Take the time to talk to find out what is going on before you make decisions about the friendship.
This article is not to say that all of you should break your friendships, but if you feel that maybe your friends are not being 100% committed, it may be time to look out for the people that stay strong with you through both highs and lows.

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