Canada is one of those places where it is impossible to tell when seasons begin and when they end. Flowers starting to bloom in March? One can only dream.

Before a giant snowstorm, Canadians train like they are going to the Olympics. They try to get as strong as they can, so when windows and doors are frozen shut, they will be a part of the minority who can make it out of their house… until they disappear under the snow.

Many are still trying to fight the battle of walking to the bus stop without cracking their heads wide open on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, most of us have fallen victim to the evil black ice, watching and waiting to claim lives.

The sidewalks and roads have turned into obstacle courses and those poor souls who slip in a mixture of ice and slush have to experience the embarrassing act of getting up and acting like nothing happened (even though they are internally scarred for life).

To those who dream of climbing Mount Everest, there is good news! Thanks to the snow plow trucks, Canada has its very own! They have created snow piles so high that there have been no recorded sightings of people successfully making it to the top. 

As if all this is not bad enough, countless backs have been broken in the process of shoveling 40cm of snow off the driveway as people desperately trek to their neighbour’s doorstep, on their knees begging for permission to use their snowblowers.

Humans are not the only ones who have succumbed to Canada’s unstable weather. Buses and streetcars lay frozen on the side of the road, abandoned, as they drive straight into a mountain of snow. At this point, Canadians should all invest in a sled as it is now the most efficient and reliable form of transportation.

Thankfully, this disastrous weather seems to be coming to an end. Or is it?